1. Rediscovering Me pt.1
The story of Cartograph: a visual life calendar for mapping the heart, reconnecting with friends and family, and reminding me of the beauty and brevity of life.
In the future, I want to dedicate my projects to others and acknowledge those who inspire, guide, and support my creative process. This project, however, feels different. It is a journey into my heart and an exploration that has illuminated my darkest and brightest parts and taught me that I struggle to celebrate myself. For that reason, I'm dedicating this project to me.
To Max, Little Guy, and all future iterations of myself, for your ever-inspiring hopefulness, creativity, and love.
The Catalyst
For the last eight or nine years, I've experienced what I would describe as a slow splitting of the spirit.
Initially, I noticed this pain as a subtle friction in the basic machinations of modern life. Things like showing up on time, remembering minor details, or saving money didn't happen without concerted effort and focus. Soon, slightly more troubling behaviors started to emerge. I would procrastinate on essential projects, leave things to the last minute, and flake on personal commitments. Eventually, even my spiritual practices began flagging, and I watched as trail running, designing, meditation, and journaling slowly faded from my life.
What is most painful, is as I’ve cracked and split, is that many of my relationships have faded away. What started as missed calls and rescheduled plans soon turned into months (and sometimes years) since speaking with or spending meaningful time with those I love. And, as time passed, my shame grew, making it harder and harder to pick up the phone and say hello. To listen, speak, apologize, forgive, cry, laugh…. In essence, it's been harder to be, with myself and others.
I need a change, and it begins in the heart.
The Project
In fits and bursts over the last year, I've created what I'm calling Cartograph, a visual calendar of one's life. It's an interactive art piece (~10 x 20") that can hang on a wall or sit on a bookshelf. The board features a grid stretching 52 spaces across (the number of weeks in most years) and 100 spaces down (potential years encompassing most lifetimes). To use Cartograph, you color the squares of the weeks you’ve lived (from birth to today) to create a map that reflects your mood, the significant seasons and events in your life, or any other important marker of your choice. It becomes a unique representation of your short time on this earth.
In addition to the physical board, I'm creating a simple, step-by-step guide for choosing colors and using Cartograph to actively reflect on your past, present, and future. The guide is a work in progress and will continue to develop as I start filling in my own board. However, I'm guessing this guide will grow to include several approaches to using Cartograph. Like life, there is no one right way to do it.
The Purpose
My primary goal with this project is to create something that helps me reconnect with myself, the people I love, and my passion for creating objects of purpose.
Secondarily, it would be nice to have a little something toward next month's food bill (I quit my job a month ago!). So, to help fund my next Costco trip, I plan to make and sell a small batch (~20) of handmade Cartographs. The boards will ship in early fall and will be available for $125 (plus shipping). If you need help with the cost, just let me know, and I'd be happy to work within your budget.
For those interested, reach out at bockaronson@gmail.com. I would be excited to hear what you gain from creating your own Cartograph!
Closing Thoughts
Phew! I've been struggling for a while, and this post feels like a big first step back into my heart. It feels good. If you've read this far, I appreciate you. If you have any words of encouragement, I'll take 'em 😀
Over the next several posts, I will cover the development of Cartograph, the system for using the board, and my initial thoughts after living with the Cartograph for a few weeks. I look forward to sharing with you more and hope you are taking care!
With love, Max.
